Have You Personalized Your Answering Machine Messages?

In recent times, probably because of the urge of something better, Answering Machine messages have achieved a sort of cult status. Most people I know shudder at the thought of creating and storing the right kind of Answering Machine messages. This is not because they do not know what to say or how to say it, but purely because everyone seems to be in the quest for the perfect sort of Answering Machine messages that are funny, catchy, and better than the scores of Answering Machine messages they have already heard commonly.


I still remember that Answering Machine message I heard that went, “Hi! You have reached ABC. I am not home right now. If it is mom or dad, please send money. If it is the bill collector, the check is in the mail. If it is the IRS, I don’t have money and if you owe me money, tell me where you are and I'll get there right away!” There is no doubt that an Answering Machine message that sounds like that will surely have your sides in splits as well.

There was another Answering Machine message I heard that went, “You have reached the house of the DEF’s. Obviously, we are not in right now, so why don’t you call us back at a more reasonable time? We promise to take your call if we are in.” To me, this sort of a message sounded near to rude! Nevertheless, when it comes to Answering Machine messages and a sense of humor, consistency or sameness can hardly be expected!


However, Answering Machine messages don't just stop there. Even those who leave messages on Answering Machines tend to take humor rather seriously. One memorable response replied to a rather plain Answering Machine message went as follows. “Hi there! When I called in, I was hoping to find someone interesting to sell this service to. However, after I heard your Answering Machine message, I am not sure you are the right sort of person I am looking for. So ciao. And don’t bother calling me even if you have my number on your machine!”

Now how does that grab you as a clever retort to Answering Machine messages? Do you own an Answering Machine? If so what sort of Answering Machine messages do you have? I have been noticing that most people have started personalizing their Answering Machine messages. Exclude those who never bothered to do so for years and years.